Wow, I'm almost into single digits... and it's not even in months anymore, it's DAYS!!!   I am getting pretty excited... I need to get some things into order before I head off though and get settled back into home... man, I started imagining walking around in my house... granted, the picture I see in my head won't quite be the same since... my parents decided to give a pretty big makeover to the house... purchasing HEAPS of stuff since I've left, but... the great feeling of being HOME will finally sink in.  To think that I've lived in the same house for my entire 26 years... and never have EVER moved or lived anywhere else... I can't believe I've lived in 3.5 'homes' since arriving in Australia.  It's going to be monumental... it's going to be LEGENDARY.  I can't wait to surprise my parents... I'm just hoping everything falls into place and A. Brenda gets 'em for me

Anyway, at the start of the week, Shen decided to remind the students that this was my last week... they were somewhat distraught yesterday... and today they've started putting cards together.    Whenever I left the room, they'd sneak out their little projects and when I returned, they'd stuff 'em back into their desks.  One girl pulled me aside, put her hand on my back and said "Miss Chang, buddy... (as some choose to call me) are you sad that you have to leave?  I really don't want you to leave... can you stay for the rest of the year?"    i've had some good laughs with these kids, esp last week... I still can't decide if I want an older year level or the babies... everytime I see the preps at the school, it makes my heart churn a little bit.. I miss those stubbly little legs and arms.. and BIG eyes!!!  Ahhh, I do like the gr 3s though, they seem pretty cute =)  A bit of a mixture...

My funniest story from this placement... lemme set it up - I rip the piss outta the kids a lot about their accent.. as they do to me.  The way they don't pronounce every little... the way their laziness in annunciating their words lead to spelling errors (eg. JR was writing a story and while she tried to sound out/spell "supper"... she spelled it "supa" because that's just how they say it... "supp-ahh"   Anyway... this story has to do with JW.  I was editing one of her works one day and she was getting annoyed that i was ripping it apart - grammatical errors, spelling errors, etc... and I came up to the word "desert"... but... of course, she meant to spell 'dessert'.  I said "uhh, that's wrong" and I guess this sent her over the top.. she raised her voice a bit and said "that's RIGHT, Miss Chang!  That's how AUSTRALIANS SPELL IT!"  I started chuckling... "Yeah, right... J... TRUST ME, that's NOT the way Australians spell dessert."  And she almost grabbed her book back and shouted "YES IT IS!"  So I thought I'd get her... "Alright, let's dictionary.com it and if I get it right, I get your lunch... if you're right, you can have my lunch."  She agreed VERY willingly... so off we went... looked it up... OF COURSE she was wrong.  She... got scared and she went hiding at lunchtime   That probably happened in week 2-3... and we're stilling making fun of her about it =)  ("Dessert has more sugar, that's why it has the extra S!")

It's somewhat sad... I taught the students' GRADE 4s their VERY first science class today   They got super excited when I told them that we were having science class... of course, the boys got a bit overcharged... "Are we going to make explosives?"  "Are we going to build frankenstein?"  ... those are the only ones I can remmeber... though they really enjoyed it... despite my 'winging' of the class... I'm starting to get pretty good at it =)  I can write the lesson plan and read briefly but... the winging.. I'm getting the hang of =)

I've set up a teacher email acct so that students can reach me fi they want - obviously it's forwarded to my personal acct but... after I gave it to JKH today, I got a bit of a surprise tonight...

dear miss chang,

I'll be honest... there are some things that I haven't done since the day I left Canada (or even before that!) where I'm not too sure whether or not things have changed or remained the same.  For example, softball.  I haven't played since November 16th, 2008 (according to my google calendar - championship game of Nothing Drops Softball)... a part of me wonders whether or not I can still smack the ball or catch a line drive... whether or not I'll yelp and close my eyes or... keep my eye on the ball and try to catch it   There's a good list of things I wonder/worry about... whether things will be any different with friends, whether it may be awkward with some or if it'll just be picking up where we last left off.  I'm sure some things have changed; change is inevitable in life... nothing stays absolutely constant... some things I would hope have changed, some things I really hope they haven't at all... but one thing I know now... is just having a really good meal with amazing company and sharing some quality conversation time.  Aside from people I"m related to ... and the Kalade family (but even then, it ... wasn't quite the same, maybe just with Kel) I wasn't sure whether or not I'd able to carry on a conversation with 'randoms'... people/person(s) I know but not that well... and after being invited over for dinner tonight... I had a GREAT time.  The house was fabulous (I love white people houses... they're so colourful and well decorated...) the food was delicious and dessert was spectacular!  We talked about everything under the sun - comparing Canada vs Australia, various different systems, things I found the same, things I found different... things I wish Canada had/was like... and vice versa.  We pretty much talked from 4pm until the moment I got dropped off at home   I'm really glad to have made such a good friend (without even really realizing it until tonight) and to think that this person feels 'awful' that it took so long to have me over for dinner... sheesh!  I'm REALLY lucky and feel very very blessed to be exposed and to meet such amazing people during my year here. 

But this is just one of the things on the list - what if the kids back home don't remember me when I go back to visit the school... what if things have changed so much between my circle(s) of friends that it's just kinda weird to have me back.... what if ... oh this could go on forever.  I guess I really shouldn't worry too much - just as Annie said - "just take it one step at a time"  

I got my package after coming home tonight.... WHOOHOOO!  It was packed with all sorts of various "fobby" games - a cube game, BANANAGRAMS (so cool!), mango & lichee bbt powder... WITH tapioca pearls!  C meant for it to arrive in the Gold Coast WAY BACK when I guess I had complained about how NON-ASIAN GC was... so I got sent a small taste of home.  Now I'm contemplating waiting until I get home to open it cuz... really... I don't wanna open it, only have a little bit then have to leave it here!  That wouldn't be fun!  

It hit 34degrees today... oh gosh, it was hot!  It's supposed to stay in the 30s until I leave... oh boy.  By the time I get through this week, and then HK... I SAY i'm going to embrace the cold when I get home... I'm pretty sure I"ll turn around and ask to come back   Oh well, I'll make the most of the warm weather now! 

  Thanks for the flattering comments... I really wish I could stay in Melbourne longer... sort of.   I'm sure we'll meet again... whether I come back here or you come up to meet/visit me in TO... I'm sure our paths will meet again, one day... I hope, anyway.  =)  See you soon!

Given that the possibility of the actual event of everyone in the world blacking out for 2:17 is quite slim... the idea of knowing even just one day into your future is intriguing (to me, at least).  Would I want to know... what would I do if I knew... would I continue the way things were, would I try to change the way things happened... how would I live my life from day to day?  I think deep down I KNOW that I wouldn't want to know... any part of my future - some people say that they don't want to think that their life is a chapter book... each page being read rather than being written.  I get that... no one wants to think that they have no (real) control over their life...

I remember one of my old friends told me that when he was little, his parents took him to a (happy) medium to look into his future & life. (I don't think he comes here anymore.. and if you do... I hope you're alright with me keeping this anonymous!) He came into this world slightly more different than most of us would say... his parents technically had him for his aunt & uncle.  He has an older sister and because his aunt & uncle couldn't get pregnant, his parents decided to have a child for them.  When he was born, and being a male, his aunt and uncle wanted them (his parents) to keep him because then they'd be able to keep the family name going... y'know the Chinese ways.  Anyway, so he was told that information at a young age as well... I guess it made for a slightly closer connection and relationship to his aunt and uncle.   I digress.  So he went to see this fortune teller when he was really young and this person told him that he was going to die at a very young age - early to mid 20s.    I know this spooked him out a lot... well it did at the time when he told me... and I can definitely see why.  Granted that I don't talk to him much anymore and I do know that he's still alive at 26 (he's on MSN right now!) I really do wonder how this information has affected his life and his daily decisions.  When we were a lot closer, I know that he tried to make the most of every situation and he rarely took a lot of things for granted.  I didn't want to address it a whole lot but it seemed like he was aware of the fact (or at least been told) that he had a very short 'time limit' to his life.  It makes me wonder whether or not this small little fact floats around in the back of his mind everyday, influencing his decisions... affecting his life and how he does things.

I know that I wouldn't want to know - I think I'd much rather hold onto the idea of life being a 'surprise'.  I know as a Christian, God knows our every thought, all of our decisions even before we make them.  As much as I probably shouldn't, I believe in the idea of fate - I think everything does happen for a reason... I think God puts us into situations that challenge us... to push us to our limits... and push those limits beyond what we thought we were capable of.  I've always tried to think and believe that "if God can bring me to it, He can bring me through it."    So maybe God does have a book entitled Denise Chang... maybe every single chapter has been written and I'm just reading the story as it's written... but I still wouldn't want to jump ahead and read the last pages of the book - that takes the fun out of living life.  (I never understood why people do that - my friend used to do that with all the Twilight stories... why would you wanna know whether or not so and so lives or dies?!?!  why bother reading everything in between?!)

I've got 9 days left... I'm not going to regret what I do (or don't do) in the next 9 days... 20 years from now.  I'm going to do all the things that I can (and want to) before my time runs out...